Quotes From Induhviduals

These true quotes were submitted by vigilant DNRC members.

1. Hearing something like that really raises the shackles on my neck.
2. The design team will do everything necessary to exacerbate the situation.
3. This guy is trying to pull the wool over the donkey's ass, and that is not where the wool goes.
4. We've got to dig our way out of this puppy.
5. Well, color me a moron!
6. Works like a baby.
7. I found that the faster we worked, the more our productivity increased.
8. I think we're on the same page here, just different parts of the page.
9. Don't buy antique furniture - it never lasts.
10. That guy's the sharpest grape on the bunch!
11. He talks like a man with a paper ass.
12. They should be beaten at the stake.
13. I said to her, "You're crazy." She replied, "Yeah, crazy like a rock!"
14. I'm so angry I could eat a horse.
15. You've made your bed, now you have to eat it too!
16. She said she would "go over it tooth and nail" looking for mistakes.
17. I may not be the brightest light in...the...light drawer!
18. The ball is in the other person's lap.
19. That report reads like a bleached whale.
20. That really burns my goat!
21. He had the eyes of a bat.
22. A little hindsight is forethought.
23. I don't feel like the sharpest button on the beach today.
24. I just got my car fixed and it's runnin' like a dime.
25. I won't cow-tail to anyone.
26. She exaggerates EVERYTHING.
27. That's going to be the gravy on the cake!
28. The Albatross of Damocles is hanging over your neck.
29. There's more than one way to lick a cat.
30. They've dumped you in the briar patch and told you to sink or swim.
31. We have to make sure we're all swimming on the same page.
32. We've got a cash cow that's turning into a dog that needs milking.
33. That really burns my craw!
34. Don't bite the gift horse.
35. That makes the hair on the back of my neck really stick in my craw.
36. Never screw a gift-horse in the mouth.
37. He's trying to pull the buffalo over our eyes.
38. I've got a real beef to grind with that guy.
39. A penny saved is worth two in the bush.
40. He opened up that can of worms, let him swim in them.
41. I don't know about him, but it's completely win-win for me.
42. I don't want to put all my monkeys in one barrel.
43. Please don't leave me out with the wolves to dry!
44. I have ears like a hawk.
45. We don't want to go at it like a wild bull in Chinatown.
46. We shoot ourselves in the wrong feet sometimes.
47. You gotta walk with your pants on.
48. Layoffs are extremely difficult for all of us -- especially those at risk of losing their jobs.
49. We better cover our ass and put it on their heads.
50. At a meeting, my director wanted to bring up an off-the-point topic. To preface his remark he said, "I don't want to open up a red herring here." When I told him that I was going to write that down and submit it to you, he said, "You're a piece of cake, Bob."
51. Sometimes you've just got to grab the cow by the tail and face the music.
52. I don't know what else I can do...my shoes are tied.
53. Sounds like we're swimming an uphill battle.
54. "Get on with the bandwagon, or get out of the pot."
55. "You're opening a complete can of Pandora's worms there.
56. Don't cry wolf until it's soup...and it's not soup yet.
57. Our product will eat the pants off the competition!
58. Utopia? What's that, a country?
59. Let's all corrugate over here to view the artist's contraception of our new building.
60. If you're sick, you'd better not come in. I don't want you to start an academic.
61. We need to iron out our bread and butter.
62. I don't need a compass to tell me which way the wind shines!
63. You don't want me down here breathing down your throats.
64. That floor is so clean you could comb your hair off of it.
65. I think we should go for the whole ball of wood.
66. We're going to clean the competition's lunch.
67. It's like the blind talking to the blind!
68. We've baked our cake, now we have to eat it.
69. She's totally green under the collar.
70. My boss told me I was a "sword in his thigh."
71. At the completion of my on-campus job interview, which I thought went well, I was told by the interviewer, "You'll hear from us one way or the other or not at all."
72. "She's not the brightest tree in the forest."
73. "We've got lower-hanging fish to fry."
74. "We've got to nix this thing in the bud."
75. During a recent sales meeting, our pointy-haired sales director told us that we were on track to achieving our sales goals and we could almost see "...the light at the end of the rainbow." I almost shot coffee out my nose.
76. "If you can't get those parts in time, that'll really put a wrinkle in your feather."
77. "'Usually' only counts in horseshoes."
78. "You're trying to move a mountain with a molehill."
79. "Too many cooks in the pot."
80. "I wouldn't trust them with a nine foot pole."
81. "I'm going to sweep this mess under the floor."
82. "You're getting too clever for your own boots!"
83. "Then I figured that something was rotten in Denver."
84. My supervisor stated that another manager had him in her "shorthairs."
85. "Open your mouth and shut your ears when I'm talking to you."
86. "He couldn't find his way out of a paper bag if it bit him."
87. "They dropped the apple cart, now it's up to us to get it back on the tracks."
88. "That didn't work out, so I guess we're just AOL."
89. "We'll be done by the schedule date, maybe later."
90. "He turned beet white."
91. "We are going to have to put all our oars in the fire for this project."
92. "You know...you can't skin two cats with one bird..."
93. "Our unemployed are working fewer and fewer hours!"
94. "That really throws a monkey at the wrench..."
95. "Let's get right down to the gnat's meow."
96. If you have that, the world is your walrus.
97. I've got ears like a hawk.
98. He looks like he's three sheep in the wind.
99. I am going to let you move around more, just to break up the mahogany.
100. We don't want to screw ourselves in the foot.
101. I think it's time to get our sleeves dirty.
102. You can't see the forest if you're barking up the wrong tree.
103. We need to get our ducks in the fire.
104. We don't want to go barking up a dead horse.
105. We're going to come out of this smelling like geniuses!
106. The ball is squarely on our shoulders.
107. It's like those who can't, don't have to!
108. Your work is late, but that's neither hide nor there!
109. Sometimes you have to turn a blind ear to these things.
110. The best way to learn is from the school of Fort Knox.
111. Don't do anything in public that you wouldn't do in private.
112. By e-mail: "... Does anyone have a concern? Speak now, or hold your piece!"
113. The Indians are nervous at Waterloo.
114. Throw that monkey back over the fence.
115. Let's not put our dandruff up in the air.
116. Those new salesmen are still green behind the ears.
117. She really rubs me up the wrong tree.
118. A former CEO made the following statement. "Some of you think that only half of the Board of Directors do all the work and the rest do nothing, actually the reverse is true."
119. The receptionist asked me, "Do you still live at your current address?"
120. Well, I'm just busier than a one-armed naked man.
121. It depends whether you are drinking from the side of the glass that is half-full or half-empty.
122. My manager once said, "We triumphed over diversity."
123. It's an exercise in fertility.
124. Hindsight is 50-50.
125. Just use your own excretion.
126. You are never going to fail unless you try.
127. We're scraping the bottom of the iceberg.
128. Today is like the day Rome was built in. We can't afford to have any fiddlers.
129. The project is going down the toilet in flames.
130. He might be barking at a red herring.
131. You're treading on thin water.
132. I think he meant we should cross our T's and dot our I's but it came out this way: "Be sure we all cross our eyes."
133. He's as deaf as a bat.
134. We don't want to stick our necks out and get our asses chopped off.
135. I gave him a real mouthful.
136. I really took the bull by the hands.
137. He doesn't know his hole from an ass in the ground.
138. You should talk to her. She is a minefield of information.
139. I can't remember but it's right on the tip of my head!
140. "You can lead a pig to pearls..." and then he trailed off.
141. Thanksgiving is early this year because the first Thursday fell on a Monday.
142. The skeleton is there. You just have to sharpen it and put the decorations on the tree.
143. And this last quote, which may or may not have come from Osama: "We need an escape goat."
144. In the kingdom of the blind, the one-eyed horse is king!
145. Looks like he's thrown a wrench in the monkeyworks.
146. A two-prawn approach is necessary.
147. He won't last, he's just a flash in the pants.
148. I can't come in to work today, I have to have an autopsy.
149. Sometimes fact is stranger than truth.
150. It's a catch 20-20.
151. Don't worry; I've got an ace up my hole.
152. Our CEO said, "Our company is like a living orgasm." Now that's what I call job satisfaction.
153. It was nothing. You planted the seed, and I ran with it.
154. In a meeting a cow-orker of mine referred to "the carrot at the end of the tunnel."
155. We are going to be shooting from the seat of our pants on this one.
156. These all came from the same boss:
157. Vision is in the eyes of the beholder.
158. Part of the verbiage is a language thing.
159. Eventually, I want it now.
160. It's not that kind of zero.
161. There are a lot of areas for efficiency reductions.
162. "In the last year, you've turned around 150%."
163. I think you might have hit the nail on the button.
164. ...caught between a rock and a wet spot.
165. And my nomination for scariest thing a boss ever said: "I was thinking about you in the shower this morning and I thought of a name for you."