Perspectives on 'Why the chicken crossed the road???'
PAT BUCHANAN "To steal a job from a decent, hardworking American."	RALPH NADER "To get away from the big corporate interests that are out to screw all chickens."
Dr. SEUSS "Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? The chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed, I've not been told!"
ERNEST HEMINGWAY "To die. In the rain."	ARISTOTLE "It is the nature of chickens to cross the road."
THE BIBLE	And God came down from the heavens, and He said unto the chicken, "Thou shalt cross the road." And the chicken crossed the road, and there was much rejoicing.
LOS ANGELES POLICE DEPT. "Give us five minutes with the chicken and we'll find out."	MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR. "I dream of a world where all chickens are free to cross roads without having their motives called into question."
JERRY FALWELL "Because the chicken was gay! Isn't it obvious? Can't you people see the plain truth in front of your face? The chicken was going to the "other side." That's what "they "call it the "other side. Yes, my friends, that chicken is gay. And, if you eat that chicken, you will become gay too. I say we boycott all chickens until we sort out this abomination that the liberal media whitewashes with seemingly harmless phrases like "the other side." That chicken should not be free to cross the road. It's as plain and simple as that."
GEORGE W. BUSH "The chicken is over-taxed and wants to get to the other side for relief. I can lead it."	AL GORE "Because I personally raised 10,000 chickens, I have always been in favor of them crossing roads. I was the first to propose federal chicken crossings for all rural roads."
GRANDPA	"In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Someone told us that the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough for us."
KARL MARX "It was a historical inevitability."	RONALD REAGAN "What chicken?"
SADDAM HUSSEIN "This was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we were quite justified in dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it."	FREUD "The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken crossed the road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity."
KEN STARR "I intend to prove that the chicken crossed the road at the behest of the President of the United States of America in an effort to distract officials and the American public from the criminal wrongdoing our highest elected official has been trying to cover up. As a result, the chicken is just another pawn in the president's ongoing and elaborate scheme to obstruct justice and undermine the rule of law. For that reason, my staff intends to offer the chicken unconditional immunity provided he cooperates fully with our investigation. Furthermore, the chicken will not be permitted to reach the other side of the road until our investigation and any Congressional follow-up investigations have been completed. (We also are investigating whether Sid Blumenthal has leaked information to the Rev. Jerry Falwell, alleging the chicken to be homosexual in an effort to discredit any useful testimony the bird may have to, offer, or at least to ruffle his feathers.)"
CAPTAIN JAMES T. KIRK "To boldly go where no chicken has gone before."	FOX MULDER "You saw it cross the road with your own eyes. How many more chickens have to cross before you believe it?"
GATES "I have just released eChicken 2000, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your checkbook--and Internet Explorer is an inextricable part of eChicken."	RICHARD NIXON "The chicken did not cross the road. I repeat, the chicken did not cross the road. I don't know any chickens. I have never known any chickens."
EINSTEIN "Did the chicken really cross the road or did the road move beneath the chicken?"	LOUIS FARRAKHAN "The road, you will see, represents the black man. The chicken crossed the "black man" in order to trample him and keep him down."
BILL CLINTON "I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. It really depends on what you mean by chicken? Could you define chicken please?"	HILLARY CLINTON "Obviously to avoid the vast conspiracy on the right side of the road."
COLONEL SANDERS "I missed one?"